Life on The Road Can Be Hard, Unless You Have a Good Woman
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Anyway… One of the most frequent questions I’m asked is how do I manage being on the road constantly doing gig and still have time for a family life. There are many variations on that question, such as “What does your wife think of you being gone all the time?” or “How often do you actually see your kids?” So in this video blog, I do my stoner-best to answer those questions.
It sounds cliche, but it’s all about balance. It’s really not that much more difficult to have a family life and pursue a career in show business than any other industry or career path. Most marriages end in divorce. So what does that tell you? Being a traveling road comic has nothing to do with it.
Comedians have the reputation of being fucked up, tortured souls. Most people in general are fucked up with tortured souls. There just happens to be a very limited, select number of fucked up tortured souls that also do stand-up comedy.
The travel is challenging. It’s not easy being away from my wife and kids. If you’re someone who travels a lot for their job, you know what I mean. I contend that if your travel schedule is creating problems, you simply need more balance between your career and home life.
There may also be other problems. Your spouse’s complaints could be symptoms of other issues.
When I got a DUI back in 2007, my wife had every right to be concerned about my drinking at gigs. At the time, I felt like she was being a bit over-bearing and ball-busting, but if I fucked up again, our family would have been screwed. So our issues with me traveling were really actually trust issues. She needed to trust that I wasn’t going to get another DUI and harm the well being of our family.
My wife is very supportive. She loves that I do stand-up comedy. That is a big element in being able to handle the hardships of the road. My kids love having a comedian for a dad. What kid wouldn’t?
That said, life ain’t always a barrel of laughs with me. I’m a fucked up, tortured soul. I do a lot of stupid shit. I have bad days. I rant and rave. But for the most part, our days are filled with laughter.
Many people are under the misconception that you need dysfunction in your life to be funny. You don’t. It can certainly help, sometimes. What you really want is strong, supportive people around you. In order to create the necessary balance for life as a traveling performer and family man, I rely on my team-mates. So much has to be systemized and automatic or the whole machine comes to a screeching halt.
It’s important to have rituals, routines, and structured dynamics. Perfection is the enemy of good. Always be willing to adapt. Don’t get hung up on preferences. Instead of being perfect, go for a basic routine and schedule, follow it consistently, tweaking and improving as needed, and that makes balance easy.
My family knows what my schedule is and what to expect. When I’m with them, I try to be as fully engaged as possible. When I’m doing comedy, I’m fully engaged in that. So everything I do, I’m giving my complete attention to.
If you’re putting in 100% effort following your passion, your path in life, everyone in your life should be in 100% support of it.
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